The Family in Islam

I want to know how to organize a speech on the above subject. I am a beginner in public speaking.

Ahmed.

Assalamu 'alaykum brother Ahmad,

May Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala fulfil all your noble intentions, Amin.

Perhaps you could start off your talk with:

Nahmaduhu wa nusalli 'ala Rasulihi'l Karim
All our Praise is for Him (Allah), and we invoke His blessings on His Noble Prophetic Messenger (Muhammad) Sallallahu 'alayhi wa Sallam.

Some people like to begin with the du'a of Nabi Musa layhissalam

Rabbi'shrah li sadri
Wa yassir li amri

My Lord! Expand for me my breast
And make my task easy for me. (20:25-26)

After a suitable introduction, it is Sunnah, a Prophetic tradition, to say:

Amma ba'd (after the foregoing).

On all occasions and especially when embarking on a new Islamic assignment, we should always pray to Allah to keep us away from riya' (ostentation and show-off). The appropriate du'a supplication) is:

Allahumma tahhir qalbi min an-nifaq
wa 'amali min ar-riya'
wa lisani min al-kidhb
wa 'ayni min al-khiyana
fa innaka ta'lamu khainata'l a'yun
wa ma tukhfis-sudur

O Allah! Purify my heart of hypocrisy,
and my deeds from showing off,
and my tongue from lying,
and my eyes from betraying trust (looking at the forbidden),
for indeed, You know what the eyes betray,
and what is hidden deep in the breasts.

We have to do everything for the sake of Allah without the hope of any personal gain or fame. If a talk is to be given, it is to fulfil a responsibility.

If we do anything with sincere good intention, it bears fruit, here as well as in the Hereafter. Before we begin to advise others we should try to act on the teachings of Islam ourselves. As Imam al-Busiri says in the Burda:

Astaghfirullaha min qawlin bila 'amalin
I beg forgiveness of Allah from saying without acting on it.

It is a great blessing to recite a few verses of the Holy Qur'an on the topic of presentation, and to give a translation, followed by an explanation. After that come the Hadith, with some explanation.

The proper adab (respectful good manner) is to choose the published explanations of one or more of the mashayikh, for example, those of Shaykh 'Abdul Qadir al-Jilani, Imam al-Ghazali, Imam 'Abdallah bin 'Alawi al-Haddad, or Imam al-Habib Ahmad Mash-hur bin Taha al-Haddad, Rady Allahu 'Anhum.

Now, coming specifically to the subject matter of the Family in Islam, you might decide to systematically organize your thoughts. In the introduction, you might mention the important things you are going to talk about, and at the end, summarize what you covered.

Prioritize your sub-topics. For example:

1. The importance of the family in Islam.
2. Love for the children and teaching them good manners and morals.
3. Respecting and serving the parents, grand-parents and the elderly.
4. The rights and responsibilities of the husband.
5. The rights and responsibilities of the wife.
6. The rights and responsibilities of the children.
7. Taking care of orphans.
8. Maintaining good relations with the kith and kin, and relatives.
9. Maintaining peace within the family, treating in-laws as relatives and not as out-laws.
10. Nurturing and preserving the noble Islamic character and Islamic spiritual culture in the family.

If you have been requested to talk for about ten minutes, perhaps you might decide to concentrate on just one sub-topic, but if you have about half an hour, you might be able to explain more comprehensively on the subject. We always have to be more prepared with more material on hand. We have to talk at the level of the audience, not trying to impress them. Our aim should be to gains Rida Allah (the Pleasure of Allah).

Now we come to a translation of some of the relevant verses.

And Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you do good to your parents. If one or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them even a word of disrespect (like 'uff'), nor chide them but speak to them a generous word. And lower to both of them the wing of submission and humility with compassion, and say: 'My Lord! Have mercy on both of them as they brought me up when I was small.'(17:23-24)

And We have enjoined on man concerning his parents. His mother bore him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning takes two years so give thanks to Me and to your parents. To Me is the eventual return. (31:14)

And worship Allah and join not any partners with Him (in worship); and do good to the parents, and the kinsfolk, and the orphans, and the needy, and the neighbour who is near of kin, and the neighbour who is a stranger, and the companion by your side, and the traveller, and those whom your right hands possess. Indeed, Allah does not love the proud, boastful. (4:36)

Surely, Allah enjoins justice, and doing good, and giving to the kinsfolk, and He forbids shameful deeds, and evil and rebellion. He admonishes you that you may be mindful. (16:90)

Some other relevant verses are: (4:1-2), and (33:35-36)

Then we come to some relevant Ahadith.

Paradise lies beneath the feet of mothers
Hadrat Mu'awiya bin Jahima said that his father approached the Prophet Sallallahu 'alayhi wa Sallam and said: 'I intend going on Jihad. I seek your advice.' The Prophet Sallallahu 'alayhi wa Sallam enquired: 'Is your mother alive?' He answered 'Yes'. The Prophet Sallallahu 'alayhi wa Sallam said: 'Go and serve her, for Paradise lies beneath the feet of mothers.' (Ahmad, an-Nasai, al-Bayhaqi)

Behave best towards wives
Hadrat Abu Hurayra Rady Allahu 'Anhu relates that the Holy Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu 'alayhi wa Sallam said: The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has an excellent behaviour, and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives. (Tirmidhi)

The example of the Prophet Sallallahu 'alayhi wa Sallam
Hadrat Ahmad bin Yazid relates that Sayyidatina 'Aisha Rady Allahu 'Anha was asked what the Holy Prophet Sallallahu 'alayhi wa Sallam did when at home. She replied: He used to remain busy serving and helping the members of the household, and when it was time for Salah (Prayer), he would go out for it. (Bukhari)

There are more Ahadith in Hadyu Muhammad on the Marriage of a Muslim (www.iqra.net/Hadith/39.php), and on Parents, Children and Relatives of a Muslim (www.iqra.net/Hadith/40.php).

Imam 'Abdallah bin 'Alawi al-Haddad has explained about the rights and responsibilities of family members in *The Book of Assistance*, in Chapter 23: On Social Duties.

If you are a beginner in public speaking, it helps if you rehearse your talk with a friend.

Be careful not to give too long a talk, and try to make it meaningful and interesting.

Tell your audience that it is always a good habit whenever they read or hear about a topic on Islam, to make the good intention of putting at least one thing into practice. This makes for spiritual progress.

With best wishes for your talk and with salams and du'a.

Siddiq.